By Laughs by Teresa
A “Delightful Little Missive” from the IRS
Of all the things to find in my mailbox! Just got a delightful little missive from our friends at the IRS. Apparently, my tax return has been hand-picked for a little… scrutiny. You know, the kind of attention you usually reserve for that one sock that keeps disappearing in the laundry.
My “Business” and Their Curiosity
The letter, penned in the most official of fonts, helpfully informs me they’ll be verifying a few teensy-weensy things like my income (yep, still employed, last I checked), income tax withholding (pretty sure my payroll department has that covered), tax credits (I’m a simple woman, I don’t dabble in exotic tax breaks), and – my personal favorite – business income. Now, hold on a minute, IRS. Last time I checked, my “business” involved expertly navigating spreadsheets and occasionally finding rogue crumbs in my keyboard. Unless you consider my uncanny ability to locate the last remaining chocolate in the office fridge a taxable enterprise, I think we have a misunderstanding.
The Great Kitchen Cabinet Catastrophe and a New Filing Strategy
For years, my husband and I sailed the joint filing ship, often docking in the harbor of owing Uncle Sam a modest sum (ranging from a polite “oops, $49” to a more dramatic “whoa there, $4,000+!” – the latter coinciding with the Great Kitchen Cabinet Catastrophe of ‘21, where a rogue upper cabinet staged a dramatic freefall, traumatizing the neighborhood and necessitating a raid on the retirement fund).
Embracing “Married Filing Separately” and the Glorious Refund
But times, they are a-changin’. Retirement arrived for the better half, and we decided to embrace the thrilling world of “Married Filing Separately.” And yours truly, a Finance Manager by day and (supposedly) tax-savvy citizen by night, decided to take matters into her own hands. No more polite owing! I increased my withholding, opting for the “single and slightly paranoid about underpayment” rate. Lo and behold, this year, a glorious thing happened: a REFUND! A decent one, at that. Enough to maybe fund a week of pretending my backyard is a tropical resort or perhaps bolster the retirement savings for the actual retirement that always feels like a distant, luxurious vacation.
The Sixty-Day Holding Pattern
Now, the letter did have the courtesy to say, “Don’t do anything… yet.” Just sit tight for 60 days while they have a good ol’ rummage through my financial life. The responsible accountant in me clapped her hands. “Yes!” I thought, “My tax dollars at work! Thorough reviews for all!” The citizen in me, however, started tapping her foot impatiently. Sixty days? That’s like two whole seasons of my favorite streaming show!
Where’s My “Oops, We Took a Bit Too Long” Bonus?
And then the questions started swirling like rogue numbers in a poorly designed spreadsheet. Since my refund is essentially an overpayment (a rather significant one, if I do say so myself), shouldn’t I get a little something-something for the wait? I mean, if I owe the IRS and file late or make a mistake, suddenly there are penalties and interest faster than you can say “tax evasion.” Seems only fair the other way around, right? Where’s my “oops, we took a bit too long” bonus? Ketchup on Ice Cream: The Refund as Income Debate.
And don’t even get me started on declaring your refund as income the following year! It’s an overpayment! It’s like the government saying, “Thanks for the loan last year, now we’ll tax you for getting it back.” Makes about as much sense as putting ketchup on ice cream.
My Supporting Documentation Has Supporting Documentation
The letter concluded with a gentle reminder to review my return and supporting documentation. Bless their hearts. I’m an accountant. My supporting documentation has supporting documentation. I practically dream in debits and credits.
Amused Anticipation and the Sock Drawer Audit
So, here I sit, in a state of amused anticipation. Will the IRS find the hidden millions I’ve clearly been stashing under my mattress (spoiler alert: it’s mostly dust bunnies)? Will I finally get that interest payment I so richly deserve for my accidental generosity? Only time (and 60 business days, apparently) will tell. In the meantime, I’ll be over here, meticulously organizing my sock drawer, just in case they decide to audit that next. You know, for thoroughness.
The Fun Doesn’t Stop Here!
Your daily dose of digital delight continues below!
Check out my post on my budgeting chaos with Sansa for a relatable tale!
Curious about my accounting life? Check out my post on being the office go-to person for more finance stories!
Laughs by Teresa